The monkeys stopped screaming last night. I should have known immediately that something was up, that something was not right, but I put it down to it being the weather getting colder, the incessant rain upon the moors and the tequila and triple-sec pick-me-up I’d been injecting into their bananas for the last three weeks in an attempt to get some sleep.

This morning, I found a CD laid across my keyboard, the furtive drunken scribble of the chief monkey across it in nearly dead permanent marker. “LOOT” it said. I thought it might be a demand, and braced myself for a horror show of poo-based sight gags and biting social commentary against the gentle tyranny of my so-benevolent corporate dictatorship.

Imagine my surprise when it turned out to be a hybrid 1st/2nd Edition magic item and treasure generator for non-player characters, as well as a deconstruction of Hamlet as envisioned by six drunk chimps. In the interest of not alerting the local PETA folks to how I treat my pen of code monkeys, I’ve made LootGen (exe, 306.5 kB) available for download, and burned what I can only hope is the only copy of Rise of the Prince of Denmark of the Planet of the Apes, The Revenge Part II."

Enjoy!